DOVE MAGAZINE

Ni gute wafasha umugore wawe kurangiza?

Kuri ubu, kurangiza ku bagore mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina bisigaye ari ibintu bikunzwe cyane. Nubwo biri uku, siko byahoze mu myaka yashize kandi ntibyakunze kujya bibatera ipfunwe dore ko binashoboka ko benshi muri bo batari bazi ko bibaho.


Bamwe mu baganga n’abahanga mu bijyanye n’ihuzabitsina bemeza ko kuba hari abagore batakunze kugira amahirwe yo kurangiza mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina nta kibazo byabateye haba ku mubiri no mu mibereho yabo muri rusange dore ko mu mpera z’imyaka (…)

Kuri ubu, kurangiza ku bagore mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina bisigaye ari ibintu bikunzwe cyane. Nubwo biri uku, siko byahoze mu myaka yashize kandi ntibyakunze kujya bibatera ipfunwe dore ko binashoboka ko benshi muri bo batari bazi ko bibaho.

Bamwe mu baganga n’abahanga mu bijyanye n’ihuzabitsina bemeza ko kuba hari abagore batakunze kugira amahirwe yo kurangiza mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina nta kibazo byabateye haba ku mubiri no mu mibereho yabo muri rusange dore ko mu mpera z’imyaka ya za 70, hari abari bakemeza ko bitanabaho ko ahubwo ari ikintu cyaremwe kikanamamazwa n’itangazamakuru.

Muri iki gihe ibi byose byarahindutse, abaganga n’abahanga bakomeza bavuga ko ari byiza kurangiza kuko bigira byinshi bihindura mu mubiri bikaba byiza kurushaho iyo bibaye kenshi mu gihe cyose yumva abishaka. Bimwe mu byiza byo kurangiza harimo kuba bitera amaraso kuba agenda neza mu mitsi, akaba yasinzira neza, bishobora no gufasha mu kwimara umubabaro n’agahinda.

Ese kurangiza k’umugore ni iki?

Abantu benshi ntibasobanukiwe no kurangiza k’umugore. Muri iki gihe, ibiba mu mubiri w’umugabo iyo asohora ni bimwe n’ibiba mu mubiri w’umugore iyo arangiza.

Mu yandi magambo, ku mugore ugiye kurangiza arimo akora imibonano mpuzabitsina habaho kwiyongera cyane k’uburyohe yumva mu mubiri bikagera aho bimurenga, akaba yatangira no gutitira, aha bikaba biterwa no kuba bimwe mu bice by’imyanya ndangagitsina ye igenda ikangwa n’igitsina cy’umugabo inshuro nyinshi mu madakika make, ibi bikaba bitandukanye n’ibiba ku bagabo iyo basohora.

Birashoboka kurangiza inshuro nyinshi ku mugore…

Irindi tandukaniro rinini riri hagati yo kurangiza kw’abagore n’abagabo ni uko nyuma yo kurangiza bwa mbere, abagore benshi bashobora kurangiza bwa kabiri ndetse n’izindi nshuro nyinshi biboroheye akenshi bikaba byaba mu gihe cy’umunota cyangwa ibiri, bikaba byanakomeza bitewe n’uwo barimo bakorana imibonano.

No mu bagore harimo itandukaniro kuko abakiri bato bashobora kurangiza kenshi cyane ugereranyije n’abagore bamaze gukura igihe cyose babishaka kandi babifashijwemo n’abakunzi babo babimenyereye dore ko ari n’ibintu umuntu ashobora kwiyigisha gahoro gahoro.

Ni byiza gutuma umugore aryoherwa birenze

Ku bagabo ikintu cy’ingenzi bakagombye kwitaho cyane ni uko umugore agera aho yumva uburyohe burenze atari uko bahatirije nkuko bikunze kugenda ku bagabo muri rusange. Biroroha cyane ku bagabo kugira ngo arangize iyo akora imibonano mpuzabitsina kabone niyo yaba adakunda uwo barimo bayikorana.

Mu miterere y’abagore siko bameze kuko kugira ngo bibeho bisaba ko umugore yumva ari mu gihe cyiza, agiye kubikorana n’uwo yiyumvamo, kuba yumva ashakwa kandi akunzwe no kuba azi ko uwo bagiye kuryamana afite ubumenyi buhagije bwo kugira ngo aryoherwe.

Mugabo aho uri hose, niba mu buriri udashobora guha umukunzi wawe ibyiza nk’ibi maze kuvuga haruguru, ntuzoroherwa no gutuma aryoherwa akaba yanarangiza, ibi kandi bikunze kubyara ibibazo byinshi ntiriwe mvuga. Uku kumufasha kuryoherwa birenze, akaba aribyo bikuraza inshinga nibyo bizatuma abasha kurangiza mu gihe cyose utegereje wihanganye.

Niba uri umugabo, ni byiza guhora wibuka ko gushyira igitsina cyawe mu cy’umugore bitamutera kuba yakumva ubwo buryohe burenze. Ibishobora gukorwa muri iki gihe kugira ngo bigerweho ni byinshi, fata akanya ubitekerezeho urabibona.


SRC: IGIHE

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