DOVE MAGAZINE

Ese ni ngombwa kubwira umukunzi wawe amateka yawe yose?

UrukundoUrukundo

Bamwe mu bantu bakundana batekereza ko ari itegeko kubwirana buri kintu cyose ku mateka yabo n’abo bahoze bakundana kera cyangwa arebana n’ ubuzima bwabo bwite. Nubwo bimeze bityo ariko iyo babwiranye amateka yabo yose hari igihe bigira ingaruka zitandukanye kandi zitari nziza bikaba byabazanira kutumvikana, kubana nabi ndetse bikaba byanabatandukanya.

Birashoboka ko utagize amahirwe yo gukomeza gukundana n’umukunzi wawe wa mbere cyangwa uwa kabiri, uwo mukundana uyu munsi akaba ari uwa gatatu cyangwa se uwa kane none akaba ahora yifuza kumenya amateka yawe ,cyane cyane arebana n’ abo mwakundanye bose mbere ye.

None biramutse bikubayeho wowe wumva uwo mukunzi wawe wamubwira iki ukareka iki? Mu bushakashatsi nakoze nasanze hari ibintu bitandukanye umuntu aba akwiriye kwirinda kuvuga abibwira umukunzi we kuko bishobora gusenya urukundo aho kurukomeza nk’ uko uba ubyibwira .Bamwe mu bakundana babwirana buri kimwe cyose ku mateka yabo n’abo bahoze bakundana. Ibi ariko hari aho bigira ingaruka zitandukanye bikaba byanabatandukanya.

Mukabahizi VioletteMukabahizi Violette, umwanditsi w’iki gitekerezo

Muri ubwo bushakashatsi nakoze, nagiye mbona ingero zigaragaza ibintu ushobora kubwira umukunzi wawe bikaba byabatandukanya. Bimwe muri ibyo twavuga ibi bikurikira:

Icya mbere utagomba kubwira umukunzi wawe ni inshuro wakoranye imibonano mpuzabitsina nabo mwakundanye bose mbere niba byarabayeho. Iki ni ikibazo gikomeye cyane mu rukundo, kuko iyo umukunzi wawe akubajie iki kibazo ukamubwiza ukuri ahita atangira kugutakariza icyizere, urukundo rukagabanuka, agatangira kujya agukeka ko waba ukibikora, niyo yakwemera ko mubana ntazigera akwizera . Ikindi kandi iyo amenye uwo mwabikoranye ntabwo azigera amukunda azajya amubona nk’ umuntu wamuhemukiye.

Icya kabiri utagomba kumubwira ni urutonde rw’abo mwakundanye mbere ye. Ibi nabyo si byiza kumubwira buri gihe abo mwakundanye cyangwa se guhora uvuga ku bihe byiza mwagiranye kuko bishobora gutera uwo mukundana kukuzinukwa cyangwa bikazana ubwumvikane bucye hagati y’abakundana.

Bamwe mu bantu twaganiriye kuri iki kibazo hari icyo babivuzeho .Umukobwa umwe urangije kaminuza twaganiriye yavuze ati”umukunzi wanjye mubwira ibyo mbona byakubaka urukundo rwacu gusa ibindi nkabyihorera”.Yakomeje agira ati “amateka y ’umuntu ni maremare kandi haba harimo ibintu byinshi ibyiza n’ibibi .Ibyo mbona byakubaka urukundo rwanjye n’uwo turiki kumwe rugakomera nibyo mubwira. Muri make mubwira ibyo mbona ko ari ngombwa.”

Undi musore wiga “college of Education” twaganiriye yarambwiye ati” uwo twemeranyije kubana akaramata ntacyo namuhisha”. Yagize ati “Inshuti isanzwe mudateganya kubana njye numva ntayibwira amateka yanjye yose, kuko ubwo ni ubuzima bwanjye bwite, kandi ejo cyangwa ejobundi dushobora gutandukana, akaba yashyira hanze ibyanjye byose. Muri make umuntu aba agomba kugira ubushishozi mu byo abwira uwo bakundana bitewe na gahunda bafitanye”.

Ikindi udakwiye kubwira umuntu mukundana ni ubuzima bwihariye bwose bw’ umuryango wawe, imiterere yawo, ibibi biwubamo ndetse n’ inenge yawo. Urugero niba mama wawe yarigeze kuba umurozi cyangwa umupfumu nyuma akabireka, niba mu muryango wawe habamo inzangano, niba habamo ubusinzi bukabije, niba abo mu muryango wawe badakundana, n’ ibindi. Ibyo ubona ari ngombwa ugenda ubimubwira gahoro gahoro mubana ibindi ubona atabona ukamwihorera ntubimubwire, cyane cyane ko nta nicyo byamumarira uretse kumusenya mu bitekerezo gusa.

Impuguke mu bijyanye n’ urukundo zitanga inama z’uko abakundana bakwiye kuganira kubintu byubaka gusa ,ariko bakirinda kuvuga ibyo babona ko byakomeretsa cyangwa byakwakirwa nabi n’ubibwiwe, cyane ko hari n’ibyo wavuga bikagutera kongera gukumbura uwo mwahoze mukundana kera bityo ukaba wanatekereza kongera gukundana nawe.


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